


and i’ve been seeing somebody (but i’ve not doing a way to tell you)

by spritejin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ?? it’s a bit questionable ab the toxic part, Angst, Character Study, Flashbacks, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Poetic, Sad, Toxic Relationship, break-ups, chenles there for a smidge of a second lol, eyyyyyy like me, hyuck’s also kind of an asshole but he means well, its basically a weird character study w a lot more drama, its like reminiscing ab the past but it’s sad af, jae owns the school p much, jen is a sk8er boy, jisung is rly talented, mentions suicide for like .2 seconds, not rly lol idk, ren is student council pres, some of y’all could say that jaemin’s lowkey an asshole, theres like 0.000002 actual plot progression, well not rly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 03:45:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17358320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spritejin/pseuds/spritejin
Summary: jaemin’s the angel boy, the one who captivated hearts with a single smile.alternatively; the tale of jaemin’s deceit told from the point of view of four boys.





	and i’ve been seeing somebody (but i’ve not doing a way to tell you)

**Author's Note:**

> sum of this doesnt rly make sense but some of it does lmao just try to kinda get a sense of jaemin’s character. red the tags n the notes at the bottom!!!! they’ll help!!

if jeno could think of one word to describe jaemin, it would be yellow. yellow—the color of the bright bright sun that peeks through apartment blinds, the yellow of the sweet jackfruit, the yellow of the little bakery across the street. to most, jaemin was a lovely boy who had a pure soul and no bad intentions in his mind. teacher and students alike adored him, and it was fairly impossible to stay away from his charms. jaemin was the sun in nearly every way. his bright presence that never failed to make a room bubble with laughter and glee. his pearly white smile and sunny eyes that could pierce through pure ice.

and it did, in a way. jeno...jeno was pure ice. hard to break, cold, terrifying, dangerous. he was this unbreakable sin that his in the corner of the classroom with a broken pen, scrawling out suicide notes on the rotten desk. he was the one with his beanie low, lurking in the corners, vaping in the parties. everyone knew him, but nobody bothered to break the ice to see if there was a heart buried deep inside of it.

but the sunshine, the bakery, the yellow—jaemin, did. jaemin melted the icy chains around jeno and opened his heart to love. he collected all of jeno’s broken pieces and sewed them up with the very same thread that he used to strangle someone else’s heart. jeno wasn’t aware of the fact that as pretty as jaemin was, he was equally dangerous. 

the boy that jaemin wrecked went by this name: huang renjun. 

he would’ve also described jaemin as yellow. bold, yet subtle. loud, yet quiet. the proper mix of highs and lows that made someone so picturesque and so perfectly perfect. flaws were never associated with jaemin, none. he was too beautiful and selfless to be flawed. he seemed to angelic to grace the halls of renjun’s school. to truly show how praised he was for merely existing, you would have to be there and see how he changed nearly everybody in every which way. to have your heart broken and your body mangled by na jaemin was an honor, and having your heart filled and your body treasured by him was unthinkable. who in the world would be worthy of him?

huang renjun was earth. laid-back, quiet, sweet, a wonderful person to have. there was nothing to fear about the earth and renjun. the short chinese male who raised his hand at every question, did morning announcements, tutored students and won student body president for three years in a row...was a nerd. he preferred books over parties, alien theories over girls and guys. some found him intimidating, but most saw him as the soft-voiced president that handed out donuts to students in the morning.

renjun would be flitting through the library, finding his psychology books before he came face to face (well, more like face to chest, renjun is quite short) with the god-like na jaemin himself. his gorgeous smile with pink lips intoxicated renjun and pulled him in with one glance. renjun was in deep, and it didn’t seem like he’d be getting out anytime soon. 

their afternoons were spent being sickly-sweet with one another, cuddled up next to a tree, exchanging words and small pecks. renjun, with a boom and jaemin, with renjun’s hands clasped in his own. they both enjoyed the silence, but sometimes it could be suffocating for renjun to be with someone who spends a majority of his time smiling for the cameras and signing autographs.

there were times when jaemin would let all hell break loose with renjun. he wouldn’t contain his desires and let his nights with the younger boy be filled with lust and passion—red.

and all that renjun could see were red sirens going off in his head when jaemin let a different type of hell break loose. according to exact words, spoken by the angel boy himself, renjun was a whore that used his status to gain others and that his “soft boy” facade was all an act. that renjun was a fake, a fraud, and unworthy of the angel boy. of course, he knew that na jaemin was too good to measure up too, and his year long romance with him would be treasured. jaemin’s words weren’t necessarily true, but renjun found himself believing them more and more as time went on. he was a fake. he was unworthy.

if jaemin was the sun, then renjun was his icarus. flying too close, only to reach an untimely death.

huang renjun resigned as leader of the student body.

and the bright sunshine, the bakery, the yellow—jaemin, suffocated and strangled and beat renjun’s heart with the same hands that laid pretty blossom’s in donghyuck’s copper whiskey hair.

if huang renjun was the earth, lee jeno was the ice, then lee donghyuck was the fire. passionate, determination, love, aggression, pain. to most, lee donghyuck was the boy who wore red lipstick to school, and has kissed every single boy in their grade. he’s gotten quite the reputation for being a playboy, but he was still a sweet kid. maybe a little troubled, but it was borderline normal for donghyuck fl go through six guys in the span of a week. relationships weren’t ever serious, although donghyuck longed for one that he would feel passionate about. coming back to donghyuck’s reputation, nobody has been left out from his notorious lips, except for na jaemin. for obvious reasons, but also because donghyuck couldn’t muster up the courage to talk to this angelic being that’s been casted from heaven. 

jaemin was in a relationship with renjun at the time, and donghyuck did love renjun. he was a close friend and the younger didn’t ever think that he could bear the face of betrayal on renjun’s face if he ever pulled that type of shit. 

when the news of jaemin’s breakup circulated through the school, (donghyuck’s hated to admit this) but he was ecstatic. he’d been admiring the boy from afar. he too had been drunk on the little glances that they exchanged in the hallways, like they had some sort of secret that nobody knew yet. when jaemin talked to donghyuck and said those three words, his heart flipped and he didn’t hesitate to go out with jaemin. 

donghyuck knew, he just knew that jaemin was going to be the one he’d spend the rest of his life loving. he’d spend late nights after they’re married listening to music and curling up in jaemin’s embrace. maybe they’ll raise a little family, a son or a cat. donghyuck could dream, but that didn’t necessarily mean that those dreams would come true. 

every sunday, without hesitation, they’d meet in a little flower garden with jaemin saying that donghyuck was “the prettiest flower” out of all of them. and his blush was prominent and more red that the roses that were splayed across the fence. their hands would interlock and the fireworks in donghyuck’s heart would go off a million times and he knew that he would never ever get sick of those fireworks. he’d never lose jaemin.

until he did. when jaemin stopped coming to the flower garden. every sunday, for three months, donghyuck waited hours until the glowing coal-red sunset sank and the twinkling stars that always seemed to be in jaemin’s eyes took over. jaemin had left donghyuck. no goodbye, no official breakup, just left. some say he got sick of donghyuck, which would never be the case—donghyuck got sick of people. some say he just drifted away, like the water caught in the wind.

like the water, or like park jisung. quiet, soothing, but powerful in his own way. you didn’t recognize his impact until you were face to face with the monsters that he could carve with his nimble fingers. jisung was a dancer. he took ballet, contemporary, modern dance, jazz—you name it, he’s done it. arguably, he was the most talented person associated with the arts in his year. two years younger than jaemin, one grade below. jisung won nearly every single competition that he competed in. people envied him (not as much as jaemin) but it was never like he was the most popular. he had a decent sized friend circle with rumors about him dating the singer from china who goes by the name of zhong chenle. they were true. 

the two young lovers were absolutely and completely infatuated with each other. it was almost like they were inseparable and nobody could tear them apart.

but jaemin sashayed in, with his saccharine smile, and yellow aura that captivated his entire audience, and somehow managed to worm his way into jisung’s uneventful relationship. chenle was heartbroken, but knew that it was only a matter of time until jisung was whisked away by someone else. of course, nothing is forever.

jaemin attended nearly every single one of jisung’s performances, smiling sweetly in the front row and waiting backstage with a gorgeous bouquet of yellow sunflowers. yellow, like the bakery, like jackfruit, like jaemin. jisung would accept them shyly and hook his arm with jaemin’s lightly kissing the elder’s cheek. 

jaemin took jisung to see the city skyline constantly. it was a wonderful place, and jisung could fall in “love” with jaemin one trillion times. he’d do anything to just stay a little longer with this angel-like boy that seemed too good to be true.

jisung fell badly on his leg while dancing and heard that sickening crack of the bone. he wasn’t supposed to dance on it for nearly half a year. he had nothing to do in that time except for school, and jaemin. but once jaemin got the news that jisung was hurt, he left. but this time it was an official breakup. he said that “it isn’t you, it’s me.” and merely left with a soft peck on the jaw and a pat on the back. jisung didn’t know how to deal with this, so ultimately, he got back with the singer that had always owned his heart in the first place.

jeno, renjun, donghyuck, jisung—they all said that jaemin was yellow. yellow like the sunshine peeking through apartment blinds, yellow like the bakery, yellow like jackfruit. 

yellow like insanity.

yellow like sickness, and madness, and deceit, and nothing nice. he’s a devil in an angel’s body. how could you know, that this beautiful and kind soul was simply another lusting figure full of hatred, watching people suffer. maybe he was shadenfreude, finding joy in other’s suffering. or maybe he was simply somebody that was lost and didn’t know how to find his way.

even so, these poor people didn’t know their fate,

and lee jeno may not know that someday he’d get the honor of having his heart broken by na jaemin, the poor lad. his heart’ll be twisted and broken and ripped apart and jaemin won’t feel a thing.

but life moves on, doesnt it? we get over things and leave our pasts behind. because what’s the point of dwelling on high school heartbreaks, if there’s true love that lies ahead. focus on the present, savor the moments that you have right now. life’ll be a fucking rollercoaster, but through it all, even if there are so many downs (it gets better) you must find the joy in all the small things.

**Author's Note:**

> um so this was basically my shitty way of touching on how people tend to idolize and put people on a pedastal and essentially expect them to be this character that they’ve always thought thag they were. similarly, jaemin is “sweet & angelic” but if you look at it through the eyes of jun, hyuck, jen, and sung, you really see how he seems like a total douche. this kinda was a result of non mentioned child negligence and the community that he grew up in, where he filled many roles in all the wrong ways. ab the toxic relationship thingy, these relationships are partly toxic. there really weren’t true feeling of love from BOTH sides, mostly just momental infatuation because you’re getting a one-way ticket to stardom and popularity bc they’re dating such a popular and loved person. jaemin kinda left the four of them hanging on an edge and gave them false hope that he really loved and liked them. infatuation is different than passionate love, and they’re all hormonal teens so ofc they don’t know the difference. most of em were aware of jae’s reputation and like most ppl in the school, they chose to look past the hurtful and toxic side of him. also, my friend read this and she asked why ren stepped down as student council prez. he did step down bc of how jaemin had utmost power over ren, and how his status kinda made renjun listen to him and understand what he was saying. idk if this makes Much Sense but leave ur q’s in the comments and ill gladly answer them. have a lovely day darling, xx


End file.
